Last week as I had the opportunity to sit across the table from some families who found themselves in a desperate cry for help and looking for answers, I was reminded of a time when I was once in their position.
It’s always bittersweet to hear others stories while feeling like I’m doing something I’m passionate about which is simply offering a listening ear of support without judgement or solution. In the community where mental illness is a topic of discussion, I’ve found that most of the time, the individual who is in great need of support doesn’t necessarily want to go straight to solutions, they want to be heard and they want to be sitting across from someone who can truly understand just what it is that they’re experiencing themselves. And I’m here to say, that unless you have found yourself living the exact experience then you can’t even begin to comprehend the pain, the frustration, the loss, the feelings of hopelessness and defeat.
I’m writing tonight because I’d like to shed a little light on mental illness awareness. If there’s one thing that I’ve heard over and over again and again, it’s the same complaint as well as a desperate need for change within our legislation. I know small changes have occurred but it’s too slow in my own opinion. There is a very real need for individuals who are mentally ill, meaning that they are actively sick and unwell in their minds and unable to make rational and clear decisions, and possibly maintain good hygiene, to be treated with or without their direct consent. It pains me to hear stories about someone’s loved one who isn’t mentally healthy and is acutely ill with possible auditory hallucinations or visual hallucinations or both and it’s impacted their ability to thrive daily. Then we tell these family members or caregivers to call 988 or their local crisis line and the help they receive is inadequate. Because when their mentally ill loved one isn’t a direct threat to themselves or others nothing can be done to help get their brain the treatment it needs. Meanwhile, they’re allowed to deteriorate as each minute and day passes by just because of those two reasons. Yet they could be walking around with possible delusions and unable to control their own impulses due to their distorted thoughts from the illness they are battling inside the mind. This is so not okay, that they are denied help and that they are denied treatment because they refuse it, when it’s apparent that it’s essential to their mental well being.
What if it was an individual who had just been shot and is bleeding out?! And yet they refused help? I’m pretty certain unless they have a DNR signed that any logical medical staff would respond to help aid them immediately without question. Because a situation like that would be considered emergent and life or death. Well if you ask me, I see no difference in the emergent need for aid with someone who’s not well inside their brain. It’s just as important and it’s just as significant. I think it’s ridiculous that families are left to suffer in silence and left feeling hopeless because they’re made to feel hopeless after attempting to call for help. In some cases, these families think 988 or their local crisis line is a joke! Because they were denied adequate help for their loved one.
Do you realize the trauma that these families live with and have to go through?! I don’t think anyone truly understands how greatly challenging it can be to try helping our child or spouse or loved one when they aren’t mentally stable? Especially if that person is experiencing anosignosia, where they don’t believe that anything is wrong with themselves. Therefore you can’t convince them that they need medical attention. When a person becomes unstable they can exhibit symptoms that you’ve never witnessed before, some of which change the entire person and they become someone you don’t even recognize. Because of the illness, they may say hurtful things or act in ways that have them completely and totally out of their true character. They may lose trust in others, they may experience extreme paranoia, they may begin to see and hear things that aren’t really there, but it’s all very real to them. With very drastic changes in their behaviors, this can be very scary for the family member or person who is caring for them. And yet again, I stress that even with these active symptoms, if that individual isn’t threatening to harm themselves or others, and they are refusing help and there’s no court order for an involuntary hold then they cannot receive adequate treatment or help. Which means they will not receive medications to help their mind become stable, and they will be free to continue living with a sick brain. This isn’t okay!
In the state of Washington, “Joel’s Law was implemented on July 24, 2015,
amending Washington State’s involuntary mental
health treatment law, Chapter 71.05 Revised Code
of Washington (RCW), and extended to Chapter
71.34 RCW. Joel’s Law allows a person’s immediate
family member, legal guardian, conservator, or a
federally recognized Indian Tribe (Tribe), if the
person is a member (citizen) of such tribe, to
petition the superior court for initial detention
under certain conditions, which are outlined below.
A Joel’s Law Petition may be filed under the
following circumstances:
• The person to be detained is 13 years of
age or older;
• You are an immediate family member,
legal guardian, conservator, or Tribe of the
person that you seek to have detained. The
law defines “immediate family member” as
a spouse, domestic partner, child,
stepchild, parent, stepparent,
grandparent, or sibling;
• A Designated Crisis Responder (DCR) has
conducted an investigation within ten (10)
calendar days, and decided not to detain
that person for evaluation and treatment.
If more than ten (10) calendar days have
elapsed, a new DCR investigation can be
requested; or
• It has been 48 hours since the DCR
received a request for investigation, and
the DCR has not taken action to have the
person detained.
You can learn more about Joel’s law by clicking the hyperlink within the paragraph provided above.
The only other real ways that I’ve heard to get your loved one help against their will during an active crisis, are if you have a legal guardianship or POA that states specifically you have permission to make decisions for their mental healthcare. And some POA’s need to be updated annually depending upon the type and verbage written. Or if you have a signed advanced medical directive. And it’s suggested that the best ways to obtain these signed legal documents are when your loved one is stable and healthy and you are on good terms. Those of us who have experienced traumatic situations and have done so, we know exactly how crucial it is to act upon this and to have one of these in place on an emergency need basis.
One last thing, I’d like to mention to anyone who may not know this, if your loved one denies to give you access to their mental health treatment plan, or refuses to sign an ROI so that you can question their healthcare professionals, please know that you are entitled and allowed to provide your input and your observations of their behaviors for that counselor or psychiatrist or psychologist to consider. Although they may not be allowed to share or discuss any ongoing care or treatment plans with you about your loved one, you can ALWAYS call them, email them, send them a letter and share those important details about your loved one. Because most of the time, our loved ones are smart enough to mask their behaviors or withhold crucial information that would be considered essential for them to receive adequate treatment for their symptoms. And since these doctors or therapists only see them for 30-60 mins depending upon the appointment time, they have a very short time span to make a good assessment for ongoing care.
Also, it’s very important to have patience with the process of their recovery, healing time, and rebuilding trust for the outside world. It’s also extremely important to be patient with finding the medication that is suitable for their needs. Since each person is different, and will respond differently to the same medication. Even with having the same diagnosis, there isn’t any one for all medication unfortunately. For example, just because one person with BP1 takes a certain mix of medications and it’s successful for that person, this doesn’t mean that your loved one who’s been diagnosed with BP1 will be guaranteed to have that same exact successful outcome. I know you might mean well, and you’ve probably found yourself in a desperate cry for help and you just want to know what’s helped others but you truly have to find what works best for them. And sometimes it can take years, and I’m speaking from personal experience. It did not happen quickly for my child. Another important thing to consider, is if they experience any cycling during certain times of the year, have a discussion with their prescribing physician about adjusting medications during this time, and also keep in mind that if they either lose weight or gain weight that this could be another reason to adjust medications and dosages.
Well this is all I have to share for this evening. I truly hope that everyone is able to take away something from what I’ve shared. And I hope and pray that all is well with you and your loved ones as we get ready to head into this holiday season. Lastly, I’ll add that I am not a mental health professional but who I am is a loving devoted mom, with lived experience of caring for a child with a mental health condition and I have chosen to share my own personal experiences with others to help end the stigma!
Keep your faith in the Lord and remain steadfast and unmovable!
Stay blessed! Always watch and pray!
If any one of you ever has questions, feel free to contact me by going to the drop down menu and selecting the “Lets Talk” button.
Thanks again for being here!
wow!! 74Some mental health awareness